Wednesday, August 10, 2011


    I would say that aside from the freedom of no longer being able to drive, the freedom to no longer be able to walk to the bathroom and "go"  in the privacy and comfort of your own throne just stinks. (no pun intended) The subject of toilets is under the heading: BATHROOM SAFETY in the catalogue I use when patients need to order equipment for home.

   Little did I know how dangerous toilet talk can be.There is The Big John toilet seat, the Uplift commode assist, the three in one (can be used as a shower chair or bedside commode) the best value: the economy elevated toilet seat,  and my alltime favorite:  The TOILEVATOR described as "an aesthetically pleasing alternative to raised seats adds height at the base of the toilet..3 1/2 inches to the heights of standard 14".  
       Between the strengthening and stretching and ambulation, there is almost always the talk about ones intestinal tract and all that goes with  it: which toilet the pts insurance will pay for,  when is it time for the adult diaper pad, how many times is one up during the night, what is the best laxative,  how come one pt can leave the house all day and not have to go only to return to her front door and not be able to "make it without an accident"  and then  there is the real danger  of getting stuck. Yes.. getting stuck.
     I was working at a hospital in a small agricultural town in California on the orthopoedic floor helping an obese man get up out of bed to his bedside commode.  As soon as the man stood up, I could see the magnitude of his posterior reached way beyond the size of the porta-potty.  I ran flying out of the room with my assistant standing gaurd by patient while asked anyone and everyone if they knew where I might find an extra extra large bedside commode.   I shortlly flew in with the larger equipment in tow and helped the pt accomplish his first order of business.  What comes down, must come up right?  Well..yes and everything that comes with it!!!.. because right before my very eyes stuck to this mans bottom was this bedside commode and he was just about to start walking when I yelled out:  "Don't move, we have got to get the toilet off your butt!.  Keep breathing,  bend over, breathe.. , "  I was yelling out orders as my helper and I huffed and puffed and yanked this  hard plastic surface away from this mans behind till thankfully we heard a slight popping noise which almost set us flying across the other end of the room.   When I gained some sort of sense of what had just happened,  the patient had moved so quickly to get himself back into bed, you would never have known he had just come from getting a total knee replacement and I was just glad that this bathroom trip did indeed end safely.

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